I never intended to leave such a gap between my previous blog post and this one but the Christmas Mini sessions and the editing that goes with them took up all of my spare time.

So in my previous post I summarised my journey from when I first picked up an SLR at the age of 13 up to my decision to put down my camera and basically give up! It sound so negative ‘giving up’ and it is easy for me to now look back and use those words about myself but at the time I felt like the thing I had wanted the most in the world even more than being a photographer had just been taken away from me and I had to stop.

Two weeks after the surgery for my ectopic pregnancy I visited one of my closest friends and her family, including her newborn baby boy. I met Gemma whilst at Uni and we instantly clicked. We both lived off campus, choosing to stay at home as opposed to living the student life so straight away we had that in common. We stayed friends after Uni and I will always regard Gemma as one of my closest friends. I knew that with feeling raw after the emotional rollercoaster I was still going through that if I felt it was all too much seeing baby Rory that Gemma would understand. If I had to get up and leave I knew I wouldn’t be judged.  All my nerves instantly disappeared when I held Rory and looked down at the perfect little bundle in my arms. I looked at him and felt a part of my heart heal. It was then that I knew everything was going to be OK and that in time I would be holding my own baby.

It was 4 months after my surgery that I found out I was pregnant. I was so happy but so nervous about going through the same again. I was booked in for an early scan just to make sure that everything was as it should be. It seemed like the longest wait of my life. I felt so different this time though. I had the positive test result much sooner and sickness, absolutely unbearable sickness. Finally at 8 weeks the wait was over and we were able to see the little heartbeat of our growing fetus. Apart from being on medication until week 17 for the sickness I had never felt so happy. The quote about pregnancy being the best reason for feeling rubbish is absolutely true and I know despite how ill I felt in those weeks that I didn’t have it even half as bad as some do.

Apart from documenting my growing bump I didn’t really give much thought to photography during my pregnancy. For years I had worked either part time or full time and my photography had slotted in when and where it could so for the first time in a long time I was able to go to work and then have time after work for meeting friends and spending time with my husband and to enjoy some crafts. I made a Winnie The Pooh cross stitch afghan blanket for the nursery and made a few crochet hats and blankets. I did get asked by friends if I would ever do photography again but I honestly didn’t think I would.

We were in hospital for 6 days after I had Henry for a few reasons and the whole time my camera sat in its bag in the corner, we used our phones to take photos but I didn’t have the energy to use my camera . Arriving home after what felt like an eternity in that small hospital room felt amazing. It sounds such a cliche but it was like the biggest dream of my life had come true.  It wasn’t until we were settled that I actually got my camera out and set up to take some photos. It was difficult to settle him myself all he wanted to do was feed but I did get a few. As time went on I started to use my camera more and more and decided to photograph him in a white vest on black fabric each month so I could document his changes. Gradually through capturing his character and personality it was like a door was opened and my love for photography returned. I guess I was now understanding how my previous customers felt when I showed them the photos I had captured of their children.

I still had no plans for a career in photography. I actually didn’t know what I wanted to do. Travelling to my existing job and putting Henry in nursery didn’t seem to make sense and I avoided the conversation with my husband whenever it came up! Then the decision was taken out of my hands when I was made redundant. Henry was nearly 8 months old at the time and the more I thought it through the more it made sense to do what I had always loved to do. I always wanted to be at home in the early days as much as possible so being self employed made perfect sense. I was so nervous though. What if it doesn’t work out was all I kept on thinking!

When I decided I wanted to offer newborn photography I knew that I needed to have training. I had an 8 month old baby and had obviously cared for him from day one but posing a newborn is so different. There is so much involved in safely capturing and creating the beautiful newborn images that are shared on pinterest and from everything I had read I knew that nothing could provide me with the knowledge I needed like 1:1 training could. When I did my newborn training Henry was 15 months old. It was the longest I had been away from him since he was born and although leaving him and seeing him crying for me was hard I knew he was in safe hands with his Nanna and I knew that I was doing it to improve myself and our future. I hadn’t done any photography training since my uni days so learning from another photographer was a great experience. This is how photography has evolved since it was first invented and nothing can replace learning from somebody with a wealth of knowledge and experience.

As I sit now and think back to January 2017 I feel that I have achieved more than I give myself credit for. There have been times when I have been stressed thinking have I made the right decision to start back up or should I have got a job with a regular rota and a regular wage etc but there would always be that niggle in the back of my head wondering about photography. I put so many hours in each week learning about business and marketing and building on my newborn knowledge; being a member of BANPAS has been worth every penny of the subscription fee. I have reached a point where I am happy with my journey. I know the direction I am going and I am so grateful to the people that have chosen me and the people who believe in me. Most of all I am happy that I didn’t ‘give up’. I took a break but deep down I never gave up on my dream.


 Part 2

I never intended to leave such a gap between my previous blog post and this one but the Christmas Mini sessions and the editing that goes with them took up all of my spare time.

So in my previous post I summarised my journey from when I first picked up an SLR at the age of 13 up to my decision to put down my camera and basically give up! It sound so negative ‘giving up’ and it is easy for me to now look back and use those words about myself but at the time I felt like the thing I had wanted the most in the world even more than being a photographer had just been taken away from me and I had to stop.

Two weeks after the surgery for my ectopic pregnancy I visited one of my closest friends and her family, including her newborn baby boy. I met Gemma whilst at Uni and we instantly clicked. We both lived off campus, choosing to stay at home as opposed to living the student life so straight away we had that in common. We stayed friends after Uni and I will always regard Gemma as one of my closest friends. I knew that with feeling raw after the emotional rollercoaster I was still going through that if I felt it was all too much seeing baby Rory that Gemma would understand. If I had to get up and leave I knew I wouldn’t be judged.  All my nerves instantly disappeared when I held Rory and looked down at the perfect little bundle in my arms. I looked at him and felt a part of my heart heal. It was then that I knew everything was going to be OK and that in time I would be holding my own baby.

It was 4 months after my surgery that I found out I was pregnant. I was so happy but so nervous about going through the same again. I was booked in for an early scan just to make sure that everything was as it should be. It seemed like the longest wait of my life. I felt so different this time though. I had the positive test result much sooner and sickness, absolutely unbearable sickness. Finally at 8 weeks the wait was over and we were able to see the little heartbeat of our growing fetus. Apart from being on medication until week 17 for the sickness I had never felt so happy. The quote about pregnancy being the best reason for feeling rubbish is absolutely true and I know despite how ill I felt in those weeks that I didn’t have it even half as bad as some do.

Apart from documenting my growing bump I didn’t really give much thought to photography during my pregnancy. For years I had worked either part time or full time and my photography had slotted in when and where it could so for the first time in a long time I was able to go to work and then have time after work for meeting friends and spending time with my husband and to enjoy some crafts. I made a Winnie The Pooh cross stitch afghan blanket for the nursery and made a few crochet hats and blankets. I did get asked by friends if I would ever do photography again but I honestly didn’t think I would.

We were in hospital for 6 days after I had Henry for a few reasons and the whole time my camera sat in its bag in the corner, we used our phones to take photos but I didn’t have the energy to use my camera . Arriving home after what felt like an eternity in that small hospital room felt amazing. It sounds such a cliche but it was like the biggest dream of my life had come true.  It wasn’t until we were settled that I actually got my camera out and set up to take some photos. It was difficult to settle him myself all he wanted to do was feed but I did get a few. As time went on I started to use my camera more and more and decided to photograph him in a white vest on black fabric each month so I could document his changes. Gradually through capturing his character and personality it was like a door was opened and my love for photography returned. I guess I was now understanding how my previous customers felt when I showed them the photos I had captured of their children.

I still had no plans for a career in photography. I actually didn’t know what I wanted to do. Travelling to my existing job and putting Henry in nursery didn’t seem to make sense and I avoided the conversation with my husband whenever it came up! Then the decision was taken out of my hands when I was made redundant. Henry was nearly 8 months old at the time and the more I thought it through the more it made sense to do what I had always loved to do. I always wanted to be at home in the early days as much as possible so being self employed made perfect sense. I was so nervous though. What if it doesn’t work out was all I kept on thinking!

When I decided I wanted to offer newborn photography I knew that I needed to have training. I had an 8 month old baby and had obviously cared for him from day one but posing a newborn is so different. There is so much involved in safely capturing and creating the beautiful newborn images that are shared on pinterest and from everything I had read I knew that nothing could provide me with the knowledge I needed like 1:1 training could. When I did my newborn training Henry was 15 months old. It was the longest I had been away from him since he was born and although leaving him and seeing him crying for me was hard I knew he was in safe hands with his Nanna and I knew that I was doing it to improve myself and our future. I hadn’t done any photography training since my uni days so learning from another photographer was a great experience. This is how photography has evolved since it was first invented and nothing can replace learning from somebody with a wealth of knowledge and experience.

As I sit now and think back to January 2017 I feel that I have achieved more than I give myself credit for. There have been times when I have been stressed thinking have I made the right decision to start back up or should I have got a job with a regular rota and a regular wage etc but there would always be that niggle in the back of my head wondering about photography. I put so many hours in each week learning about business and marketing and building on my newborn knowledge; being a member of BANPAS has been worth every penny of the subscription fee. I have reached a point where I am happy with my journey. I know the direction I am going and I am so grateful to the people that have chosen me and the people who believe in me. Most of all I am happy that I didn’t ‘give up’. I took a break but deep down I never gave up on my dream.